A few days ago, I sent someone a message of encouragement, stating the belief that it is important to let people know how we feel and how they've affected us while we still can. The next day, David Bowie died. Today, I woke up to news of Alan Rickman's death.
I interned on a film of his several years ago. Although there were several notable actors on the film, Alan was the only one I found intimidating. He carried himself with such presence that his stature seem way taller than 6'1". His movements were very deliberate, and the few times we interacted he made me feel like I was part of something special. There is no denying that he was a person who should be respected, and he reciprocated that respect ten-fold. And as an aspiring actress in both stage and screen, it was truly inspiring to see him work, he was absolutely mesmerizing.
Since deciding to do Show and Talk, there have two wish lists I've kept: people I want on the show who I'll keep pursuing until they say yes, and the bucket list of people I feel I'll only be able to interview once I'm good enough. Alan Rickman was high on the latter list, the list of people who's personal and professional presence I admire so much it leaves me speechless. Just two days ago I was thinking about what an amazing and talented person he was. Today he is gone.
It's always crushing when a dream guest passes away. Mourning the loss of a celebrity is a very personal, often controversial, thing. Death is always sad, and my heart goes out to the family and friends of those who are gone. But there are some celebrities who impact our lives in some way, whether through their work or just the parts of them they've allowed the public to see. I think it is a very natural thing to feel that loss. For me, it's also more than that. I see where I am, which is not nearly as accomplished as I'd hoped to be, and I wonder if I'd tried harder, if I'd pushed farther, if I'd made more sacrifices, if I could have had the chance to sit down with them before they passed. It gets me to thinking about what things are holding me back, and what experiences I'm missing out on by not being more aggressive at following my dreams.
There is already quite a list of accomplishments I'll never be able to achieve, for some circumstantial reason or another. I know that thinking about our own death is generally frowned upon, but I may not make it to 69. Will my legacy be as impactful as Alan Rickman's? Of the things that are holding me back, which are a product of my own doing (or not doing)? As death is inevitable, we can choose to let it paralyze us with fear, or let it push us forward. So today, I raise a toast to you, Alan Rickman. May I go forward and make my life as intentional and impactful as yours. You shall be greatly missed, but never forgotten.