Potlucks can be a stressful time. Sure, there’s the fear that I won’t be able to find anything to eat other than what I brought. But beyond that, the pressure of figuring out what to bring can be overwhelming. Should I make a side, an entree or a dessert? How much should I make? And the biggest question, what should I make?

Sometimes I feel adventurous and experiment with something new. Other times I make a tried and true recipe. But each time the hope is the same: That my dish will be a hit and I won’t have to bring leftovers home. It’s what we all want, right? To have the most popular dish at the party? It’s pretty illustrative of life, too.

I don’t know about you, but my biggest self worry isn’t about whether or not I have something to offer. I know that I always have something, sometimes even several somethings, that I can bring to the table. But there is always the fear that what I bring will not be enough. I don’t want to spend hours slaving in life’s proverbial kitchen only to return home at the end of the night with only 5% of my contribution gone.

But sometimes that’s unavoidable. And it doesn’t mean that what we have to offer isn’t any good. Sometimes it turns out you’re the fifth person to bring mac and cheese that night. Sometimes everyone decided to go on an ill timed diet right before the potluck and resisted the urge to try your delicious brownies. Sometimes your dish just got buried among the sea of other dishes and went unnoticed until everyone had already filled their stomachs to capacity. I’m going to stop with the potluck analogy now, because I’m sure you get the idea.

We can take the risk of not being accepted and choose not to offer our talents, or we can take it as a challenge to be the best we can be. I work in an industry where people always feel like they need to prove themselves. The problem with proving yourself is that you spend so much energy trying to make others notice your worth, and most days you end up with another crew and have to start all over again. A better method is to be your brand of awesome all the time. You may not always be what people are looking for, but I guarantee if you do your best, someone will take notice. And in the meantime, you have energy to improve on your own terms. But if we let fear keep us from being who we are, we stop living.