Yesterday I was working security at an event and a man came up who had no credentials on him. When I asked him for them he thanked me for asking for them, then stated we hadn't met yet, reached out his hand and said "Hi, my name is..." I believe he followed with John, but about 30 seconds later I was questioning what he'd told me.

I know what you're thinking. "Sandrene, you just told us on Wednesday how bad your memory is!" Don't worry, it's not that bad yet. Nor am I being lazy and trying to pass off the same topic for two days of blogging.

You see, my conversation with John? didn't end with him telling me his name. He asked me mine, then proceeded to explain "You know the guy who signs all your checks? That's me." He apologized again but said he needed to get through to see one of our supervisors on duty. He'd greeted another security guy who was standing next to me, so I figured his story was legitimate. But as I was internally frustrated with myself for not remembering the name of someone of significance, I realized why I'd forgotten, and why I've forgotten so many others upon first meeting.

I get caught up in the details.

In this instance, I was completely taken off guard. I saw hundreds of people that day, the last thing I expected when stopping him was a meaningful introduction. I was still trying to process what had just happened, what was still happening, and make sure I was still doing my job, as others were still passing by as well. The name, and a common one at that, got lost in all the other things I was sensing and needed to respond to.

And I believe this is the crux of all the issues I have with remembering names. You see, most introductions happen in one of two ways. Either you're introduced to a group of people and are overwhelmed with names and faces you're expected to remember, or it's done the old fashioned, one-on-one way with a handshake. Well, I tell you, a simultaneous handshake and name is a near surefire way to ensure I forget one of those, and it's usually not the one that includes physical touch (I am a kinesthetic learner).

You see, at that moment there are several things that go through my head. Things like:

Does he have a strong handshake (and how do I need to adjust to match it)
(If a weak handshake) is it because I've offended him, or is this normal?
How does his hands feel?
(If clammy, wet or something else unexpected) what does it mean?
Does he look friendly?
Will I need to adjust my accent when I say my name so he understands?
How many times will I have to repeat my name before he gets it right?
Does he look friendly?
Does it look like he even cares at all that we're talking?
Does he look scary and I should probably give a fake name?

With all that and more happening, saying something like "Hi, John. I'm Sandrene" becomes automatic and I miss out on the most important detail of the whole conversation. Sound familiar to anyone else?

I don't say all this to make an excuse. But now that I realize what my problem is, I need to figure out how to fix it. It appears this is easier said than done. Today I met a new person and decided to employ the practice of also saying the name after the handshake, assuming that was the over analytical part. Well, perhaps it's because this is such a new practice, but I ended our exchange with "it's nice to meet you ________" (after saying his name immediately after he told me as well), but then my mind launched into "oh, good. That didn't come out as awkwardly as I thought it might. I hope this helps me remember. And now I need to make sure I do the same for everyone else."

And guess what? I still forgot.

Ok, so I only kind of forgot. The "I think he said his name was..." type of forgot, instead of "I have no memory whatsoever of what he just told me" forgot. That's a start, right? *Sigh* The conclusion seems to be I need to shut my brain off at least 80% when meeting new people.

What are your tips and tricks for remembering names?